Meet Our Bar Team
The Velvet Duchess
Owner of the establishment. Trade her at your own risk. Often kicks out unruly guests. Throws Gil at peasants. All hail the bourgeoisie. "Let them eat cake!"
The Velvet Butler
Head of staff. Full time evil butler. Dreams of taking over the establishment through nepotism and intrigue. Host of events. Has many similar butler outfits. Amateur website manager.
The Velvet Dealer
Casino Pitboss. Often doing the wrong job at the right time. Launderer of Gil. Very dodgy individual. Interact at your own risk.
The Velvet Handmaiden
Odd job laborer. Hides behind masks for unknown reasons. Currently reading “Fifty Shades of Pink”. Always has bad glamour choices and therefore made to run glamour contest for life.
Resident House Band Member. Social media guru. Obsessed with patting lalafels. Addicted to Black Jack.
Resident House Band Member. Constantly developing new set lists for the band. Vehemently denies the authority of the Head of Human Resource.
Bar Tender. Claims of facial reconstruction totally baseless and untrue. Insists looks are 100% natural. No drinks for you if you claim otherwise.
Resident Dancer. Speaks little. Dances alot. You never know what she is thinking.
Bouncer. Stop trying to sneak in to the bar. You are gonna get smacked really hard if you try.
Bar Maiden. Music composer. Due to severe addiction to the taste of fantasia, we are unable to capture the constant image of Sasa. In fact we have given up. A intervention might be needed.
Resident Dancer. Seldom seen, seldom heard, often stray.
Bar Tender. Buy your drinks here. Please buy a drink before you hit on her. Tip heavily, need to pay for glamours. Good effort in rebranding the lazy eye.
Resident Dancer. Totally loves her job. Will dance with almost anybody. But does not dance with chocobos. Definitely no chocobos.
Venue usher. There are no two directions in The Black Velvet. Chonk might have been abandoned in The Black Velvet. But finders keepers. Stop trying to steal Chonk from us.
Bar Maiden. GONNA BRING THE HOUSE DOWN!!! Wait no not literally!! Put down the hammer..... step back...!! No why are you tearing down the fixtures...!! Arghhh!!
Head of Human Resource. All you slackers better punch in and punch out. Stop taking extra smoke breaks. No loitering on the lawn in between shifts!! Feed me!! All hail Zairt!!!
Posing > Life
House Photographer. Camera lens kept cracking for no reason. However, after Dudgee Finlay's recent aesthetic changes the problem strangely disappeared.
Reformed Music Appreciator
DJ. DJ Demori after years of playing euro trash EDMs has graduated into proper music. She has been warned by HR multiple times that euro trash EDMs are not real music.
Receptionist and Communication Specialist. Sold Zairt an over priced and defective emotional support lalafel. No refunds.
Dancer and Hostess. Another victim of the Gold Saucer, this broke bunny is madly in love with fellow dancer Cadsuane and is happily married. Still broke though.
Lawn Mower. We actually don't know what Rys does. But she's always at The Black Velvet garden. Not sure if she's actually working here. Oh well.
Usher and Part-time Bouncer. Previously hired for her exceptional skills as a ghost buster. Zhaedan's weapons of choice are killer heels and netted stockings, that she now uses in creative and dark ways to keep our beloved guests in line.
Dancer. Dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh, oh, oh. I've never seen anybody do the things you do before. They say move for me, move for me, move for me, ay, ay, ay.
Might Be Mozart
Song Writer. Really rich now ever since she realized she could monetize her music. Might buy bunny mansion for her male bun.
Our Not-So-New Intern
(No longer unpaid) Waitress. Isn't the 90s retro? OMG. You all are like so old? Can I call you gramps? Wait what ya mean I'm failing my internship. You are gonna hear from my dad, you fogey.
Get Your Shots Here
Photographer. What’s the difference between a large pepperoni pizza and a photographer? A large pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four. Sigh ok, give me "Blue Steel".
Outdoors > Indoors
Not Keli Isawa
Due to legal reasons, this is not Keli Isawa and we deny any records of her working in The Black Velvet. Stop sending subpoenas. There's no one at home. We have not seen Voidlivion or Zairt since christmas.
Not held against her will
Odd Job Worker. Not kidnapped by Exotic Lefteye. Not locked up in cellar. Not forced to work without rest or salary. "Psst Dreamoe, wink once if you are being held against your will"
Boba drinking millenial / slave queen
Web Intern / Servant Collector. Working at Black Velvet to fund her addiction to collecting servants at the local auction. So many servants, so little time.
Fake Chef / Only Gpose
Photographer. Only cooks up new poses. Wants to cook Erys Smolfang because popotoe. Food may not be edible. Don't trust Photographers with a frying pan. Remind Zairt to hire real chef.
Lover of Chairs
Housing Designer. Enjoys sitting and gposing on every chair imaginable. If he fits, he sits. Also loves glitching through all the Black Velvet furniture in order to gain Void's attention.
Architect of Doom
Housing Designer. Always demolishing private property right before major events, but then rebuilds them again beautifully. He is now paid a salary (definitely not a bribe) in an effort to minimise property destruction at the bar.
Cat in a Cage
Atmosphere Manager. Picked up as a stray by N'talie Halha and spends most of her time at the Enclosure @ The Black Velvet. She 100% loves it here and does not suffer from Stockholm Syndrome.
Vocalist. Loves raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Murderous chickens and eggs getting beaten. Baking delicious desserts as she sings. These are a few of their favourite things.
Photographer. Believes in the power of bananas. Often seen performing 'dark arts' on mannequins and other supposedly 'willing' participants in the halls of the Black Velvet.
Lady in White
Marketing Manager / Housing Designer. Knows the difference between dance pole and pole dancing. Currently locked up in the fish tank to prevent her from Burning Down The House.
Vocalist. Murders songs with her angelic voice. Can hit higher notes when high. Side hustling as a drawing artist that will put people out of work. Let her draw you at your own risk.
Game Master. Lives in a cave with the one true ring. A friend of the pixies and all things mischievious. Ghar is 99% degenerate and 1% pain train.
Twitch Streamer. Lover of fried chicken and knows everything. Don't let her innocent demeanour fool you. She will eat and eat and eat until all things are devoured. Remember to feed her or suffer the consequences.
Greeter. Beautiful and extremely dangerous. Stare into her hypnotic belly button long enough and she will consume you. Black Velvet denies responsibility for any mysterious disappearances related to our staff.
Videographer. Dreams of reaching the distant stars by utilising the longest pole possible. She has been practicing the art of cloning herself (and her poles) at BV in order to achieve her lifelong dreams.
Intern's Intern. What do you mean by reaching greater heights? I'm already at the greatest height possible!
Housing Designer. Hired by Void and Zairt because they needed more clowns. If all else fails, lalafells make delicious emergency food.
Evil's Intern. Has a cult following and regularly impregnates people with his hypnotic voice. Working at Black Velvet due to the sheer amount of child support he needs to pay off.